i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
