508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Don't make out with my wife yet
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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