i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
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