her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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