I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
please don't ironically join a cult
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