i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Randomize
