My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
