i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
