remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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