Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
