oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
