nut hugger
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
