saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
