i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
