the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
they're like a gay fantastic four
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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