They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
