Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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