I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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