Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
