so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
