she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
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He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
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I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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