I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
