and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
The air was thick with penises
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
