he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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