By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize