I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Randomize
