You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
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