Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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