If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
