Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
3 2 1 whiskey
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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