Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize