So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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