It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Randomize
