This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
you never un-have a 4some
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
