My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
