thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Randomize
