hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
how does that bad decision feel?
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