so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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