Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
