I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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