She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
this boner is exhausting
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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