It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
What a dumb baby whore.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
