i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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