Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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