we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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