Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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