Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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