WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
