I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
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Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
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The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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