i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
