So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
