the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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