i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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