no, he came in my armpit
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
