i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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