omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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