Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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