My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
This is my gift to your gina
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
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