the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
