Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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