haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
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