quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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