i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
