so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
